I know most people dread the winter months. I know that most people become depressed when the leaves fall off the trees, the weather turns cold and the sky turns grey. I am most alive during those months. I feel rejuvenated, awake, vital. The cold, crisp air energizes me.
I can’t wait for it to get cold. Then I will take long drives through the Texas countryside. My windows rolled down, my hoodie on, the cold wind rolling over me as post-rock spills forth from my speakers. Maybe Explosions in the Sky, or Godspeed You Black Emperor, or Mogwai, Caspian, Sigur Ros, or MONO. The list is long. Just driving through the country, lost in the music and the cold.
I want to sit in a field and just watch the stars. Somewhere far from the cities. I want the heavens to open up above me as I sit there and let the cold seep into my body. Staring up at the starry sky, feeling how insignificant all my worries are. Letting the cold cleanse my soul as I stare into the face of the gods.
I want to sit around a fire, under a curtain of stars. My friends around me as we listen to the crackle of the wood as it burns and we just sit there, content to be in each others presence, no words having to be spoken.
I can’t wait to breathe in that first lungful of cold, crisp air. To feel the cold penetrate into me. That wonderful sensation of you feel on your ears and face as the cold attacks you.
That is what I miss, what I long for.