A bit of self reflection and other things…

So far, all of my posts have been political in nature, mostly because I love politics.  I’ve decided that I would create a post a bit about my life, what I have going on and some other things.

I’ve started college this last semester, pursuing a degree so that I can be a high school history/government teacher.  I know that there are many things wrong with the public school systems in this country but I love those subjects and I truly believe that I may be able to help to show at least some of the kids how important knowledge of our past is.

About four months ago, the woman I was dating dumped me.  We dated for about six months but this was the first serious relationship I’ve had.  She was everything I’ve ever looked for in a woman.  She was funny, beautiful, awesome sense of humor.  She loved zombie movies and horror movies as much as I did.  She smoked cigars, she had great taste in music.  She was artistic and she understood me and accepted me for who I was.

I always kept a bit of myself closed off to the women that I’ve dated over the years.  I never really opened up and let them into my world and let them see who I really was.  I guess it was because I never really connected with any of them on that level.  It wasn’t until Jennifer that I actually felt that connection.

Every moment I spent with her was amazing for me.  When we were together, even if the end of the world was nigh, I would have greeted it with a smile.  Due to circumstance beyond either of our control, she had to move back to her parents house which was a good three hour drive away.  We said that we would still see one another but alas, that was to never be.  One day she sent me a text that it was best that we break up.  I kind of knew that it was coming but it still hurt.

I think that for the first time in my life, I have experienced depression.  I was just not motivated any longer to do anything.  I dropped off going to Krav Maga, I stopped going to the gym, I stopped writing and I just couldn’t crawl my way out of this funk that I was in.

Lately though, I have started to find my way out.  I’ve been trying to go back to Krav when I could.  I attended a seminar over the last weekend that concentrated on handgun, rifle and shotgun defenses.  The second day was to be anti-carjacking, anti-hostage, and active shooter scenarios.  Unfortunately for me, when I woke up for it Sunday morning, I could barely move.  I guess that is what I get for not attending all those months.

A Gold’s Gym is opening just down that street and I intend to get a membership and get back into that habit as often as I can.  I am also going to change my diet because I’m not getting younger and the older I get, the harder it will be to burn the excess fat I have stored around my midsection.

College is going well and I am happy that I have finally enrolled.  I have a high A in my Writing class which makes me extremely happy.  Next semester I plan on taking a math class, possibly Government and an online course, though I don’t know which one yet.

I have started to write again.  I am almost finished writing the second act of the screenplay that I have been working on and I am pretty happy with how it is developing.  My zombie novel is progressing also and I have passed the ten thousand word mark on it. 

I am also working on a short story that is science fiction/horror in nature.  An explorer vessel searching for unclaimed solar systems for the major corporations to exploit translates into such a system.  They find the lost Ark ship Eternity orbiting a moon around the largest gas giant in the system.  The move in to investigate, sure that they are about to become the richest, most famous crew in the galaxy.  The ship is dead and they enter to investigate what could have happened.  A survey of the surface of the moon shows one of the shuttles and a structure.  A crew is sent to investigate that while others investigate the derelict ship.  Untold horrors await them all.

Once I finish those three projects, I have a few others that are just ideas at the moment and need to be fleshed out.  Three more screenplays are rattling around in that space called my mind and a few more short stories, a science fiction short involving a planet where a zombie outbreak happens and the planet is turned into a hunting reserve where you get to hunt the zombies.

There is still a part of me that misses Jennifer terribly but I am healing and I know I am healing.  Every day is a bit better and even though I will move on and possibly meet another who was as great as she, there will always be that place in me that she occupied, that is hers and that no one else will ever be able to fill.


About Joseph Capdepon II

Bearded, opinionated, writer and lover of all things science fiction, horror or fantasy related. Thank you for reading.
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